


forgiveness, can you imagine

by emblems



Series: all at once [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Related, I made myself sad, POV Second Person, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5745109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emblems/pseuds/emblems
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>can be read independently of part one</i>
</p>
<p>when naga said that defeating grima by your own hand would end your life, it was hard to understand what that might look like, how you would find the strength to bring forth your own passing. </p>
<p>now you wonder if there was any other way it could have happened. you doubt it.</p>
<p>[ for self-indulgent reasons i had to write the scene in which robin defeats grima and leaves chrom bereft. gender-neutral, second person pov. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	forgiveness, can you imagine

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings: please be aware that some of this might not be great for those that have issues with dissociation/ideation of death/etc. i started writing this as a vent fic and as a result there's some unfiltered emotion of that nature floating around.
> 
> that said: as with [the heart of me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5588149), this is written in second person and without any indication of gender, so feel free to conceptualize robin however you like. 
> 
> some dialogue lifted from the game, but roughly half (?) of it is mine because—let's face it—the game didn't give nearly enough.

the falchion is positively radiant as chrom strikes a decisive blow, sending grima reeling.

all at once, you become aware of the beast under your feet.

the thing that, in another life, in another time, is an extension of you. a part of you.

your hand tightens into a fist, and suddenly the tome tucked under your arm seems to pulse with power.

for the first time, your ties to grima are a blessing: with one last move, one last strategy, you can protect everyone. the bloodshed and pain and nightmares can cease—chrom can rule ylisse free from looming darkness. lucina can sleep through the night in peace. you can end this.

you see chrom start to move forward, to strike the final blow, and you know in one perfect, crystallized thought, that this is it. this is the moment.

the thoron buzzes in your palm. the motion comes to you as easily as an inhale, power rushing through you alongside the blood in your veins.

grima sees you, and the terror on your reflection’s face looks like cider tastes: biting hot as it goes down, warming you all over when it hits your stomach.

“ _you would not dare_ ,” grima shouts, and you smile.

“i would," you say, “and i will.”

chrom watches, frozen in something between disbelief and horror. realization breaks over him like a wave—all at once and then washing over him, from his grip on falchion to the set of his shoulders.

you know forgiveness will not come today. you watch his lips move around the word—no, he shouts—but you barely hear it.

you release the spell and watch it arc through the air, your aim true. it hits the form that looks so much like you, that could have been you—the form that in some way will always remain with you.

grima screams out in pain, and you wonder if the sensation in your chest is an echo of that or something entirely yours. 

perhaps both.

when naga said that defeating grima by your own hand would end your life, it was hard to understand what that might look like, how you would find the strength to bring forth your own passing.

now you wonder if there was any other way it could have happened. you doubt it.

grima evaporates slowly, the voice growing weaker and weaker as seconds tick by.

“it’s only right we meet our end together,” you say. your voice is quiet, but you know grima hears you.

as you disappear there's a certain peace that overtakes you. chrom looks at you and in what remains of your chest, something gives way. 

but the peace is all-encompassing. it consumes. 

you’re not sure when you fell to your knees, but suddenly chrom is there, kneeling in front of you. the expression on his face is a stunning amalgamation of anger and grief, and you want to tell him that there’s no reason to be upset—only cause for celebration.

despite that, there’s a pang in your gut when you see the tears falling down his face.

when you promised him you would stay with him, you knew that leaving was inevitable. when you agreed to take on the world with him, you knew there were certain sacrifices you would have to make. 

when you told him that together you could be something more, you had hoped he would never have to be something less.

his life is marked by departures, by people leaving, and it’s this that finally spurs your tears.

you hope it's not for long, because the thought of leaving him alone with lucina and morgan and lucina and without one morgan—

well, if you don't come back, this feeling will hardly matter at all. 

still, chrom pulls at your quickly dissolving heart strings. 

“you swore,” he says, and it's an accusation. 

you smile. “i'm sorry.” you reach out with your fading hand and press it against his cheek. “please know that i did this for our children, and for their children. so that they may know something better.”

“and me?”

you wonder if he knows how selfish he can be. 

“always for you,” you tell him. “even if you don’t believe it right now.”

“i can’t be without you,” he says, both hands cupping what remains of your face. “don’t you know that?”

you want to remind him that you have never known a life without him, have never known a chrom that didn’t feature you at his side, but your tongue won’t form the words—for his sake or yours, you’re not sure. 

instead you tell him, “i need you to go on. for our children, for the shepherds, and for ylisse.” you smile again, trying to give him heart even as your own disappears. “for me, until i get back.”

chrom is crying openly now, shoulders shaking. “you fool,” he says. “you noble fool.”

there’s a pulling sensation at your core—time is nearly up. “please tell the others my last thoughts were of them,” you say. “chrom,” you say, because he has to see you when you tell him this. “may we meet again—in a better life.”

you’re not sure if that look in his eyes is the steel of resolve or the shuttering of his heart.

it’s the last thing you know before everything fades away.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't anticipate writing something to go alongside the heart of me, but now that i have part of me wants to continue, so keep your eye out for things like the conversation that happens after emmeryn's death, robin's return, etc etc
> 
> title from "it's quiet uptown" from hamilton the musical. alternative music: "doing the right thing" by daughter: _then I'll lose my children / then I'll lose my love_


End file.
